I want more fish

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As I type, I can still taste the smoked flavour of the salmon topped, fried egg on gluten free toast which I made for a delicious breakfast this morning.  Ok so I may have added avocado, salt, pepper and sour cream.  I’m feeling hot, tired, and energy depleted.  As much as I love Carman’s deluxe gluten free muesli with Aussie honey, I wasn’t satisfied. I simply wanted more. 

In a world full of materialism, we constantly ask ourselves do we have enough?

Do we want the latest clothes, even though our wardrobes are abundantly full?

Do we desire an updated kitchen every few years?

Are we seeking for more, all which is better and bigger?

Are we competing with what others have?

Will we ever be satisfied?

Is our vision blurred of what we want rather than what we need?

Are our wants holding us back from living with our needs and being ok with that?

For most, our needs are met. For others this is not the case.  I believe, it is a myth that the world is over populated.  It’s seems to me, it’s possibly a problem that there is uneven distribution in our world.  Their is corruption and there is greed. It’s obviously more complicated than that and we do have a serious problem with poverty.  We also have a serious problem with spiritual poverty.  

Could we become minimalists in our own right? I’ve seen the documentary and it was good. I feel however they were missing something. Who is to say what each needs? Some people need more books than others for instance.  A single man will simply not need as much to live by in comparison to a family of five.  A family of five in one country will have different needs than one in another.  Now there’s nothing essentially wrong with updating your material objects per say, but I believe in a balance.  We live in a world with people obsessed and addicted to buying.  We have an unhealthy attachment to our things. We are slaves to consumerism.  We are constantly acquiring more and more items  which we do not need.  Does this mean we give away everything? Maybe not, but wouldn’t we have more freedom, if we were able to walk away from our material possessions because we are not attached to them? Does that mean we don’t respect what we own, of course not.   We can become minimalists, and we will still yearn for more because we are yearning for something else.  Their is a void and it needs to be filled. 

When are your happiest memories? It’s been said children who have more are unhappier than those who have less, wouldn’t this apply to adults as well? 

Apart from food, shelter and clothing,  we each have a another need in common which is food for our soul.  God’s love. Now for me as a Catholic, this I why I frequent the sacraments.  The human desire for God which we can ignore or try to  fill up by purchases is supernatural, a void which only God alone can fill.   His love is a love which will satisfy our souls, if we let it: ‘Come Holy Spirit’. He gave us His only son, He denied Himself so that we have a chance to live forever and be happy with Him in heaven, not here. Let us not be confused that we must live a life of sorrow.  How can we imitate and permeate this love in our own lives? By focusing on loving others rather than objects. 

We are all searching or hungry for more.  It is a natural desire, one which we were all born with, because God wants us to yearn for Him.   We don’t have to be rich or famous, have a better house then the neighbours, nor a poorer one for that matter.  We do need to continually look at our selves and die to our wants because they bind us here and one day we will physically die and we can not store these treasures in heaven.   If we’ve spent our time acquiring earthly goods, have we spent it wisely?

 We can sometimes feel that even we do not have enough to give.  Give yourself and all you have because it counts. Do not believe the lies told to us by the devil that we do not have enough or we ourselves are not enough.  As we journey through Lent, we look at the miracles performed by Our Lord to teach us something. We remember  the story where Jesus fed the five thousand from all of what the little boy had to offer. He did this because He knew it didn’t matter how much the little boy had, it only mattered that he was willing to give everything he had and that God would make it enough, more than enough.  
We trust in the God who wants us and made all the fish in the ocean in the very beginning, to make something out of nothing,  how hard could it be for someone like that?

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Confessions of a jam addict

I have confession today, down the road with an authorised priest for the purpose of obtaining forgiveness.  It’s where I confess my actual sin.  There are two types of actual sin, venial and mortal. 

 Venial – a less serious offence against the law of God.  Some venial sins are deliberate.  They displease God.  Some are not deliberate.  They are committed through fear or without thinking. If we do our best to improve, Our Lord is pleased.  A sin can be venial in two ways.  Firstly, when the evil done is not seriously wrong.  Secondly, when the evil done is seriously wrong; the sinner sincerely believes it is only slightly wrong, or does not give full consent.  

 Mortal – a grevious offence against The law of God.  Three things are necessary  to make sins mortal.  Firstly, the thought, desire, action, word or omission, must be seriously wrong or considered seriously wrong.  Secondly, the sinner must know it is seriously wrong. Thirdly, the sinner must consent to it.  

To Make a good confession, I must admit to my sins, tell the truth and leave nothing out.  These are the chief qualities of a good confession.   It’s freeing to know ones sins.  It does not get me down.  I am human, I am bound to commit them, yet I will not let them bind my life.  I don’t like the way they make me feel.  The same with sugar. I don’t feel good after eating it. I feel sick.

Why do I go to confession frequently? Because I know it’s good for me.  Do I think I’m holier than anyone? No, not at all. In fact, it helps me when I’m feeling depressed.  It cleanses my soul.  It helps with my struggles. It helps me know myself.  I may never get rid of some of my addictions, but I won’t give up fighting against them. Confession is a sacrament.  What’s a sacrament?  A sacrament is an outward sign of inward grace.  

One eats good food for our bodies right? Well the sacarament of communion where a catholic receives the body and blood soul and divinity of our lord Jesus Christ is food for ones soul.  We drink kombucha for vitamins and probiotics.  Well consider the sacrament of confession medicine for ones soul.  I was addicted to sugar.  Addictions keep us from Really living.  I used to be addicted to sugar. I love jam! However, there is so much sugar in jam! I wanted to make a decision which changed my life.  I wanted to cut out the bad things. So, I cut out sugar. When I cut out the sugar, I seriously had more control over other failings.  

Make sense?

Make sugar-free jam?

Recipe for organic berry and chia jam (organic berries don’t have pesticides. If you are trying to change to organic, start with berries.  Non organic have a tonne of spray, I was told by a farmer, you can’t ever get rid of it.  Not even by washing them through a dishwasher! Yikes. 

1 cup of organic berries, fresh or frozen.

1-2 tablespoons of rice malt.

2 tablespoons of chia seeds.

Place all ingredients into a saucepan with 2 tablespoons of water, and blend with a stick blender, or leave as is. Heat pan over a medium heat until he mixture begins to bubble. Reduce the heat and stir until thickened.   Store in an airtight container for a week or freeze for up to a few months. 

I confess, this jam doesn’t last long in our house.


Go easy on yourself if you desire to give up sugar. It takes time, if you fall off the wagon,  forgive yourself and get back.  Don’t be disheartened.  It’s a journey.  You might feel a little nervous about admitting any addictions.  Can you talk to someone you trust about it? This post is not about judgement, no human can judge another.  But our struggles or habits with food, can have a domino affect with our struggle in our souls.  For me, I know the two were linked.  Do I still struggle? Absolutely, but I’m aware of my struggles and that’s the difference.   

You may wonder, if I  ever get nervous about confession? Yes, I do Sometimes.  Only because Old hairy legs doesn’t want me to go.  Who’s that? Me in the winter yes, but old hairy legs is another name I call satan. He knows there’s grace involved.  He doesn’t want me to receive it.  He wants me to forget that it’s totally private, it’s Jesus himself not just a man.  When I leave the confessional, I leave all my sins behind. I feel so relieved after it.  I say my penance and make reparation.  I say sorry to who ever I need to.  Is it humbling? Absolutely. Freedom is in forgiveness.  Asking for forgiveness is humbling.  Without humility, we can not be like little children who need their loving Heavenly Father.  A child needs to be able to trust they can tell their parent anything. I confess I’m sometimes afraid in life, but trust He is with me in everything.  As an adult, I don’t fear God, I fear living without Him and because of that I desire to please him and do my utmost best not to sin again and eat sugar-free jam forever with Him in heaven.

Love Leah🌿